A lot of sh*t happened in my life for the last couple of years after secondary school came to an end.

    Right now, in my life there is this one black dot that I can never erase, nor will I ever have the chance to mend back my mistakes. What I would do to turn back time and take it all back.

    How can one pick up a shattered heart? 9 whole months, yet I am still struggling, forcing myself to accept a simple truth and to move on with life. But somehow, I can't, and I don't know how. Yet, it is time for me to do that already.

    I wish someone can just take all the pain away. I wish I am not feeling any hurt right now. It squeezes my heart, sometimes making me feel so suffocated. What is so wrong? Why can't I just take it easy, let it go and make everyone happy? Is it just all in my head?

    If there really is a divine being up there, maybe He arranged all these on purpose. I hope that there is a solid reason behind His choice of sending me all the way up to Kedah. I hope in that decision, there lies happiness for me. There's no definite definition of happiness I suppose. It differs from one being to another, solely depending on one's purpose in life. As for me, I achieved that happiness once, but I threw it all away and landed myself and someone I love in this whole mess.

    I am so lost. And so alone. Maybe the me in the following years to follow will one day look back at this phase of life and laugh at my own stupidity. Maybe, these are all just blessings in disguise.