" When I was with you I saw a different side and if the world sees half of what I saw in you they'll love it and I know you'll be great "

That was really sweet. It is moment like this, no matter how brief it is, that I catch a rare glimpse of the guy I fell in love with. 

Nevertheless, it was gone within seconds.

      - You can never ' just be friends' with the person you fall in love with -

I've been carrying on with my daily routines, trying to push all of these aside. Yet, I cannot deny the emptiness, the hurt and the sadness that still haunt me.

Going to places we've been, doing things that we once did together,

I feel so empty, wishing so much you are here with me.

But you'll never know.

I know this is the most important time in your life, where you decide your own future.

But do you realize,

This is also the moment that determines whether I stay or leave.

Or perhaps, it isn't important to you.

" I don't know what to say"

Do you know how much that always hurt?

If I do not seek comfort in you, will I tell you things that are troubling me?

Sometimes, it's not what you can tell me.

It's the simple how are you, cheer up , i'm here for you that brings away the sorrow.

I concluded.

I can be there for you, anytime of the day.

But you can never be there for me anymore, even during my lowest moments.

I am sorry.

I am in no place to judge.

I know you are trying, putting in efforts.

Thanks.

I can only pray that things will get better.

But I will accept it either way.

You cannot compare.

When I was with you, you brought out another side of me.

Happiness came from within.

I could never stop smiling.

Everything felt so right.

There was no worries.

But when you left,

You brought her away together with you.

And I,

Started finding the old mei chien, the one before you came into her life.

But she'll never be the same anymore.

Her heart is filled with scars that will never be healed, memories that stab her, promises not kept,

And the betrayal of life.

She smiles, 

But she still have moments of silence tears.

You will never know.

But at the end of the day,

She wipes her tears.

cleans up,

and face the world again with a smile.

Time, will decide everything.

We'll see.

Stay strong.

I wish you the best in life.

I will still support you silently, 

whether you acknowledge it or not.

But I will neither make a fool out of myself again.

     - Love, does it brings joy, or does it only just gives us more reasons to cry? -

I'm fine. =)