I have a friend here who does not join activities, does not have many new friends, and who does nothing but get herself busy with assignments and studies only in university. She basically just go to classes and head back straight to her room after classes end everyday.

We were in class and I asked her something.

' Are you happy with your uni life?'

'What's there not to be happy about?' She answered.

And it got me thinking.

For a person who basically does nothing in her university life compared to me who is always busy dealing with activities and facing all kinds of shit, she is actually happier than I am.

A part of me feels like detaching myself from everything and just focus on my studies.

Where am I heading to with all the activities and problems I have in hand now?

Is it making be a better person or is it making me more miserable and make me despise my university life?

I  have been sleeping and sleeping and sleeping. And every morning when I wake up, it sucks knowing I have to wake up and face all these shit again.

Where have I gone wrong?

Friends? Who am I supposed to turn to?

Seems like most of them are just ignoring me. And they doubt me.

A good friend of mine kept telling me that it needs continuous efforts. Give them one last chance.

I'm tired. I'm tired of putting efforts in people who do not even care whether I do or not.

Can you hear my silent screams?

One thing I am sure about myself. 

 I am a person who does not have bad intentions. I do not do things with motives. Yes, I am emotional. But that's all. Even if I am mad at a person, I would not have the heart to actually have revenge or any kind of that.

I really do not understand the people around me.

Or is it the other way around?

My problem?

Or theirs?